Date: Tue, 7 Nov 2006 19:31:59 -0800 (PST)
From: The Easy Rider
Subject: Rogue Male (P&T) (fwd)

Another one.

Ciao.  AK

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 22 Oct 1997 01:00:27 -0700 (PDT)
From: The Easy Rider 
To: Easy Rider Gag List 
Subject: Rogue Male (P&T)


From: The Big Ukrainian

    Are You an Unreconstructed, Right-on, Rogue Male
       Or a Delivery Boy of the New Male Order?
            Are You a Man or a Louse?
                 Find Out Below.

1. A woman whispers "Do me now, big boy..." in your ear. She
   is obviously:  

a) Short sighted.  
b) Attempting to overcome a lack of self-esteem through
   meaningless sexual gratification.
c) Begging for it.
d) A recording.

2. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to
   as: 

a) Sex.
b) Fucking.
c) Enclosure.
d) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town.

3. You should make love to a woman for the first time only
   after you've both shared:  

a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual
   relationship. 
b) Blood-test results.
c) A cab.
d) Five tequila slammers.

4. You time your orgasm so that:

a) Your partner climaxes first.
b) You both climax simultaneously.
c) The director can set up for a close-up.
d) You don't miss Sportsnight.

5. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

a) Strictly for cats.
b) Healthy, creative love-play.
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree
   to. 
d) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find
   out about. 

6. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had
   sex with is: 

a) The best part of the experience.
b) The second best part of the experience.
c) A loathsome chore.
d) $100 extra.

7. Your girlfriend says she's gained two kilos in weight in
   the last month.  You tell her that it is:

a) No concern of yours.
b) No barrier to her finding a new boyfriend.
c) No problem - she can join your gym.
d) A conservative estimate.

8. Today's sensitive, caring man is:

a) An ideal to which you aspire.
b) A myth.
c) An oxymoron.
d) A moron.

9. A prostitute is:

a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression. 
b) Someone who provides an essential service.
c) A cheap date.
d) A valued employee.

10. A wife is:

a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression.
b) Someone who provides an essential service.
c) A cheap date.
d) A valued employee.

11. Masturbation is:

a) Sex with someone you love.
b) A healthy exploration of your erogenous zones.
c) A team sport.
d) A cheap date.

12. It is the day after a one-night stand. Do you:

a) Call her.
b) Call your lawyer.
c) Call your doctor.
d) Call your wife.

13. Which of the following lines best fits into your ideal role-
    playing sexual fantasy:

a) "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn..."
b) "I've got a nasty swelling down here, Nurse..."
c) "You're a lovely, fluffy little sheep...."
d) "Another consonant please, Carol...."

14. Foreplay is to sex as:

a) Priming is to painting.
b) Appetizer is to entree.
c) Trailer is to feature.
d) A queue is to an amusement park ride.

15. The slogan that sums up your sexual mores is:

a) Free Lorena Bobbitt.
b) Free Mike Tyson.
c) Free Willy.
d) Free condom with this survey.

16. Your local Mayor is involved in a lurid sex scandal. You
    are: 

a) Outraged.
b) Implicated.
c) Jealous.
d) Never going to vote anyway.

17. Which of the following are you most likely to find
    yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "Welcome to Dumpsville.  Population: you."
c) "I'm not in right now.  Please leave a message after the
   tone...." 
d) "Keep the change."

18. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a)  Is uptight and a waste of time.
b)  Probably needs a little more time before she can cope
    with that sort of intimacy.  
c)  May need glasses.  
d)  Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first
    place.