Date: Tue, 7 Nov 2006 19:31:59 -0800 (PST) From: The Easy Rider Subject: Rogue Male (P&T) (fwd) Another one. Ciao. AK ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Wed, 22 Oct 1997 01:00:27 -0700 (PDT) From: The Easy RiderTo: Easy Rider Gag List Subject: Rogue Male (P&T) From: The Big Ukrainian Are You an Unreconstructed, Right-on, Rogue Male Or a Delivery Boy of the New Male Order? Are You a Man or a Louse? Find Out Below. 1. A woman whispers "Do me now, big boy..." in your ear. She is obviously: a) Short sighted. b) Attempting to overcome a lack of self-esteem through meaningless sexual gratification. c) Begging for it. d) A recording. 2. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as: a) Sex. b) Fucking. c) Enclosure. d) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town. 3. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared: a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship. b) Blood-test results. c) A cab. d) Five tequila slammers. 4. You time your orgasm so that: a) Your partner climaxes first. b) You both climax simultaneously. c) The director can set up for a close-up. d) You don't miss Sportsnight. 5. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: a) Strictly for cats. b) Healthy, creative love-play. c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to. d) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about. 6. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is: a) The best part of the experience. b) The second best part of the experience. c) A loathsome chore. d) $100 extra. 7. Your girlfriend says she's gained two kilos in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is: a) No concern of yours. b) No barrier to her finding a new boyfriend. c) No problem - she can join your gym. d) A conservative estimate. 8. Today's sensitive, caring man is: a) An ideal to which you aspire. b) A myth. c) An oxymoron. d) A moron. 9. A prostitute is: a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression. b) Someone who provides an essential service. c) A cheap date. d) A valued employee. 10. A wife is: a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression. b) Someone who provides an essential service. c) A cheap date. d) A valued employee. 11. Masturbation is: a) Sex with someone you love. b) A healthy exploration of your erogenous zones. c) A team sport. d) A cheap date. 12. It is the day after a one-night stand. Do you: a) Call her. b) Call your lawyer. c) Call your doctor. d) Call your wife. 13. Which of the following lines best fits into your ideal role- playing sexual fantasy: a) "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn..." b) "I've got a nasty swelling down here, Nurse..." c) "You're a lovely, fluffy little sheep...." d) "Another consonant please, Carol...." 14. Foreplay is to sex as: a) Priming is to painting. b) Appetizer is to entree. c) Trailer is to feature. d) A queue is to an amusement park ride. 15. The slogan that sums up your sexual mores is: a) Free Lorena Bobbitt. b) Free Mike Tyson. c) Free Willy. d) Free condom with this survey. 16. Your local Mayor is involved in a lurid sex scandal. You are: a) Outraged. b) Implicated. c) Jealous. d) Never going to vote anyway. 17. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship? a) "I hope we can still be friends." b) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you." c) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...." d) "Keep the change." 18. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate: a) Is uptight and a waste of time. b) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy. c) May need glasses. d) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.